Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Tug of War, Then the Release

After I posted the various odd bits for sale on this site, I started having a conflict with doing it.  It's not that I have a problem with selling things in general, but it was all the trouble I went through to do so.  I spent most of the day trying to figure out how to get the Paypal button to work, then I realized I hadn't changed to my married name in the Paypal account, hadn't updated my credit card, and didn't have a merchant account.  They are all fairly minor issues, but added up to a whole day of frustration trying to "deal with" these things that I didn't want anymore.  Add on top of that, the time it took to take photos, download them and write a post about them.

Of course, this is the essential crux of the problem people have in cleaning out their closets. We want to make the most out of everything, like squeezing blood from a turnip.  In the past, I would always have my to-go bag and give away clothes, perfume, or whatever to friends or family, but my reliable sources for giving live 1400 miles away.  Now, I give plenty to charity here, but this cleaning out of the closet was different.  These are items that I still wear, but they just don't make me feel that great when I do.  I wanted them to be loved by someone else.  

Again, as I write I am laughing at myself because this whole line of reasoning is just spinning.  In order to release, you have to release.  All this activity involved in the releasing is just delaying the reward.  There are a pile of clothes on a chair in my living room that I am looking at right now.  The clutter is making me feel terrible and is part of what inspired this post.  

The more I have thought about it, the more I know that giving away the rest of these things is the answer.  Would you believe that when I moved here, I mailed boxes of things I didn't want back to my family.  I spent $50 for shipping things that I didn't want anymore.  Now that is ridiculous!  Today, I went on to makeupalley to see if I had something that someone wanted to swap for, and boy is that a lot of work.  I'm supposed to look for someone that wants what I have, then see if I want what they have and then have to go to the post office and stand in line to mail it to them?  Oh, no.  (I realize this can be fun for some.)  I am a member of Freecycle too, but I'm not sure I want people coming to my house to pick up stuff.  

The whole process of selling these things has generated bad energy in me.  I felt like I was thinking too small and I wasn't happy with that in myself.  Go away, bad karma!  

Amazingly enough, just writing this seems to have cleared the bad energy in me because now I know that I will package up these nice things and be able to bless someone else with them. When I was growing up, getting a bag full of used clothes from my cousin or even a woman I didn't know was one of my happiest moments!  I remember when I was 13 and living in Florida with my Dad, I got a bag of clothes that my Step-mom brought from someone.  It was filled with Jane Fonda-like aerobic wear, a pair of yellow Liz Claiborne shoes with a paisley that looped up around the toes (and my friends told me gave me toe cleavage), a yellow sweater with small embroidered Mickey Mouses on it and much more.  I'm laughing now, but I'm telling you that I think I wore everything in that bag. (I did not grow up in a wealthy suburb, ok. Shopping was not in my extra-curricular activities.)

Maybe I'm crazy or a little obssessed, but some of you must understand me. (I'm crossing my fingers that you do.)  In honor of my progress (and Stephanie's-see comments in Julia's basket post), leave me a comment with a subject you'd like me to write about and I'm going to send someone a little package from my sample goodie box.   For you, I will stand in line at the post office.

Some books to help you clean out your "good stuff" too.  Be sure to look at your library first.

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